


Domestic Life at Its Finest

by aobears



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: #stillindenialutasevil, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Blood, Cat Calling, Coffee, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Kissing, Language of Flowers, M/M, Mentions of mental instability, Morning Cuddles, Possessive Behavior, Rain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2015-07-29
Packaged: 2018-02-19 01:51:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2370017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aobears/pseuds/aobears
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world of constant pain and blood, with only death for company, it's always nice to have a lover to find recluse in.</p><p>(tumblr/ao3 Prompts, mostly fluff.)<br/>((re+edited ((and added on to!!)) as of May 28 2k15))</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good Morning

**Author's Note:**

> cross posting this on tumblr as well  
> is2g all of my utakane feels go here dont test me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaneki and Uta wake up

     The morning finds Kaneki enveloped in the sweetest scent he could possible imagine. He’s enveloped in it, from the smooth sheets sliding against his legs to the thick line of heat pressing into his side and wrapping around the curve of the small his back. He doesn’t open his eyes, only inhales and lets the warm scented air caress his lungs. It’s an odd combination, the earthy pine of sage, and the sharp sweet smell of tangerine peels. Kaneki struggled for  long while to come up with the human food to describe his lover’s scent, a few weeks after his transformation and he began forgetting the human tastes and smells that before were so appealing to him, it was upsetting. When Kaneki had tried explaining in shaky stuttering terms, to his dismay he could barely remember, or find the terminology to express the tastes and smells. Uta had only nodded along and hummed, pressing a light kiss to the half-ghouls palm as consolation and encouragement, his head in Kaneki’s lap whilst the younger ghoul talked quietly about human things he could remember, sadness etched too deep in his speech for Uta to pull it out and banish.

     Kaneki sighs contently as he feels arms around him, the warmth of Uta’s body radiating heat in peaceful slumber. He opens his eyes and smiles lightly as he is met with the sight of pale exposed skin, and a sun-like ink. He presses his nose against the tattoo and then glances up, the frail hope that Uta was already awake to greet the white haired ghoul with closed-mouthed kisses, lingering in the back of his mind. He isn’t surprised or disappointed as he sees Uta breathing softly with his eyes shut. His hair catches the sunlight; the slight breeze from the window ruffles the strands and makes the sun catch onto them. Kaneki thinks that Uta looks so peaceful, so unguarded when he’s sleeping, he wishes that his lover slept more often. When he’s awake, he’s calm and controlled, a mask that never cracks and never stops evolving. But now, with his eyebrows relaxed, eyes shut and eyelashes brushing his pale cheeks, mouth slightly open, and his breath fanning out onto the sheets, he looks the epitome of peace and relaxation.

     Kaneki stretches up a ways and presses a kiss to his jaw, in a futile attempt to wake him. Uta doesn’t stir, but releases a heavy, happy sigh at the additional contact. After lingering for a moment at his jaw Kaneki presses several more kisses in quick succession near the first and then pulls away. He turns over slightly, slowly, careful not to jostle him, and with reluctance rolls out of the comfy embrace of his lover. He shivers from the loss of heat, and glances toward the clock, and grimaces at how early it was. Despite the sun being up, and the far away bustle of the city, it was only 7; he and Uta would crash tonight as well.

     Uta had a bad habit of falling asleep either in the kitchen, or in the studio. His after a long day with battling out of place customers who had no clue who they were, and meticulous stitching and gluing his eyes would itch from fatigue and he would close them for just a minute to wake up to the nudges of his lover at 3 am, tugging the stiff-necked Uta up to the bed. After impromptu naps like those, his body would tense and he would sleep much more than he usually would that week, making him wake around 2 or 3 in the afternoon if Kaneki wasn’t there to push him out of bed in exasperation,  finally fed up with spending the morning hours alone and having to turn away a few early bird customers, ghoul and human alike. Kaneki is quite surprised how quickly his sleep schedule flops. One week he and Uta are away before dawn, sipping coffee on the small hidden balcony surrounded by ivy and stray herb bushes pushing their way out of the concrete. They would be surrounded by silence, interrupted only by the slight brush of wind and the distance sound of car motors. Another week, they wouldn’t sleep at all, whether it was that they were consumed with sudden lust or screaming night terrors, bags would reign supreme for a while until they passed out in the living room at 3 in the afternoon. A third week would have them up at 7  and sleeping at 10. This week it seemed that Kaneki would get around 10 hours of sleep the entire week, and Uta 40.  

     Despite the awkward sleep schedule, Kaneki never minded to stay up with Uta. He always liked how the raven looked at night, framed by the light of a lone lamp, hunched over a mask with the needle sparkling with every swift movement he would make. Their nights were quiet, with Kaneki on the leather couch reading one of his novels his own lamp set to illuminate his book, and Uta sitting a ways away over his mask. Their nights were peaceful, if not occasionally interrupted by a growl and scream in an alleyway nearby. Sometimes Uta would get a customer coming in after the lights have gone out in the city. He would attend to them while the customer would look curiously at Kaneki and his book on one of the couches. If their gaze held to long, Uta would tighten his measuring tape around whatever part it was currently in contact with, or give a forceful, squeeze on their shoulder to make them pull their gaze away from Kaneki’s exposed collarbones, and have the customer look down in faux embarrassment. Those nights, their nightly excursions went on longer; Uta would have the need to be productive and get started on the required mask before he would be able to fall asleep. Kaneki always tried his best to stay awake with Uta on those long nights, but usually ended up falling asleep and had Uta carry him up to their room around 4 in the morning. Kaneki always forces Uta to close shop at 1, because he gets tired, and he knows Uta does too. Uta’s own mask sometimes doesn’t hold all the way until closing time. Kaneki has to sometimes close up for him.

     It’s annoying to wake up without his lover, but sometimes it’s nice; Kaneki gets to see Uta sprawled out, hair mussed and sheets partially on the floor, and partially tangled with his legs. It’s a nice image and Kaneki admires it for a little while, before shaking his head and grabbing a random shirt from the floor. Groggily, he walks down the cool stairs, each step sending a jolt of ice up his spine and working to disperse the remaining sleep in his system. Uta didn’t like carpeting in any part of the studio, living or work, he said that it was just out of preference, but Kaneki really knows that it was laziness out of vacuuming. Kaneki manages to turn out the shirt after a few minutes of fumbling, and puts it on in the kitchen, pulling a hand through his hair as he walks over to the kettle. The tiled floor is still cold to his warm feet and he shifts from one to the other while filling the kettle with fresh water and setting it on the stove. He catches his reflection on the metal, and pulls a hand through his white hair again, returning it to its normal state of disarray.

     He leans back on the counter idly waiting for the water to boil. It’s been a long time since he first learned to make proper coffee, and a long time since he’d perfected the technique. So long since he acquired his deathly white hair, and so long since he began living permanently with the older ghoul. Kaneki could see the personal touches he made over the months of his residence; the odd book on the table, two jackets hung up on hooks in the entryway, and not to mention the coffee beans stored in a separate cupboard of their own, always fully stocked. He thinks of how many times the shop has had to be repaired, most of the work was done just by them, there was too big of a mess and not a good enough excuse to call in human construction workers. The Pierrot Incident had left a big gash in some furniture and a loss of a wall, Uta had become a little more unstable than he already was.

     He pulled the kettle off the stove before it could announce its readiness with a high shrill. He pulled out the sifter and cups and began the familiar ritual of making coffee. Pouring the liquid into two cups and distributing his special sugar cubes, he put the nearest dog tagged book under his chin, and the two cups in his hands and went back upstairs, slower this time as not to spill and remake his trip to clean up. Kaneki’s body had already familiarized themselves with the cold breeze of the morning, but he didn’t want to remain in the chill for longer than he had to. He set down the coffee on the bedside table and lied down, careful once again not to jostle his sleeping lover who had barely moved in his short absence. He dropped the book in his lap and while opening it to the marked page he reached and grabbed over his cup of coffee, taking a sip and beginning to read.

     After a few minutes, the smell of coffee had permeated the air, and he felt the raven stir. He paid the movement no mind, flipping the page. He heard a soft moan and a thump, and his eyes flickered toward Uta who had opened his eyes and then flung an arm over them, hissing at the sunlight that peeked through the curtains. Kaneki laughed and flipped the page, waiting for his lover to reorient himself. After another minute of two He felt Uta shift toward him, propping himself on his arms, his red eyes squinting and hair standing up in clumps. Kaneki had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing at his lover’s disorientedness. A morning Uta was a funny Uta, he tried to miss the older ghoul’s awakening if he could help it.

     “Ken?” Uta’s voice was quiet and laced with sleep, he could tell that Uta was on the verge of collapsing back under the covers and continue sleeping, and was only in this stage of consciousness to ask for something.

     “Where’s the coffee?” Kaneki couldn’t keep back the laugh this time and shut his book, exchanging it for the coffee cup on the table. He passed it to the other who downed it without any regard to the heat, Kaneki winced imagining the metallic burn that would follow the coffee. After that stunt, Uta’s arms gave way and he slumped onto Kaneki stomach. His hands automatically came up to pull at the knots formed during the night time

     “Good morning,” Kaneki said at the grimacing raven, who was disgruntled at being awake. He leaned down and pressed a kiss into the older ghoul’s hair. The other hummed and his tensed face relaxed into one of resignation at the coming day. To make himself feel better, Uta shifted to reach up and peck the other on the lips. Uta’s hand reached up to Kaneki’s neck, pulling him down so he didn’t have to stretch as much. The white haired boy complied and kissed Uta more squarely on the mouth, the taste of coffee and sage and tangerine peels heavy and sweet on his tongue.

     “Good morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u for lovely roku-chan for this prompt!!


	2. Where Sun is the Enemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Utakane! Sleepy!uta is a lot more affectionate than usual"  
> ~Anon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank anon for the prompt, "thank u anon"  
> edit(5/19/15): re-edited

     Kaneki had always found it amusing how often he and Uta would sleep until noon. In all honestly, he shouldn’t blame just Uta, he was also guilty of pulling the older ghoul down and rejecting the offer of getting up and drinking coffee. It didn’t really matter if they had stayed up the night before, or if they had fallen asleep right after their weekly dinner or excursion. They would end up waking when the sun shot hot light through the slits in the curtains which heated their faces in gradual discomfort, and woke them in foul moods if they had been alone. But since they were together, a bad mood never lasted long.

     There was always that one spot on the bed that was completely secluded from the sun but it always changed, so it was always a blind guess and chance of luck that one would hit jackpot and be in cool shade, curled awkwardly to avoid the deathly light. The other would then hide their face in a pillow or anything nearby and plunge themselves into darkness, but then the sun would heat a foot, or a side, and the heat would itch and cause discomfort until it was no longer an option to keep sleeping.

     It was one of those noon-time icky sunlight mornings, and Kaneki had struck gold and was sleeping undisturbed in what seemed to be a very uncomfortable position. Uta was the one who was caught in that one annoying beam that made their mornings hell sometimes. Amazingly enough that was how Uta had found himself waking bleary eyed and draping himself over Kaneki to escape the devilish sun. When he did that, Kaneki stirred, but Uta paid him no mind, and buried his overheated nose in Kaneki’s cool neck. Uta felt Kaneki’s eyes flutter open, and he lifted his head, eyes still shut. He felt Kaneki’s breath ghost on his face and he leaned forward blindly, searching for cool lips and hot tongue. Kaneki also didn’t bother to open his eyes and they ended up a little crooked but fixed it before pulling apart. Kaneki made a move to shift and get up presumable to go to the bathroom and start his day after their usual good morning kiss, but Uta wasn’t feeling the determination just yet. He didn’t have the motivation to get up and he’d be damned if Kaneki would leave him alone in a cold bed where the sun burned stripes across his back. Uta groaned and buried his face again into Kaneki’s neck refusing to let him leave.

     At this point in time, Uta would do anything, absolutely anything to make sure Kaneki didn’t get up. Kaneki seemed to have gotten the message, since he relaxed back down onto the bed  with a small smile and wrapped his arms around Uta’s middle. The raven felt the haze pull at his body, drowsiness heavy in his limbs, despite that, he took his hand and brushed it across Kaneki’s cheek, reveling in the pale smoothness of skin beneath his fingertips. He brushed his hand up higher to his cheekbone, and then to his white hair, which was mussed from sleep. Kaneki’s hand comes away from his waist and grabs the one tangled in his hair. The half-ghoul twines their hands together and Uta hums in satisfaction, the purs increasing in volume as the white haired boy presses a kiss to their hands. Uta mustered up the strength to prop himself on one of his hands and reach up to kiss Kaneki again, properly this time.

     He felt Kaneki’s lips mold against his own and the rush of breath passing his lips as Uta slides his tongue on the half-ghoul’s lower lip. He pulls his hand away from Kaneki’s choosing instead to cup the boy’s cheek. Kaneki readjusted himself on the bed, pressing Uta’s chest against his own. When they pull away, Uta goes back to Kaneki’s neck gradually making a trail of soft kisses from his eyes to his jaw and then to his neck. He hid again from the oncoming day.

     “Are you ready to get up?” Kaneki asked; petting Uta’s hair as the older ghoul’s hands slid across his skin.

     “No.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops, its pretty short


	3. Possessive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Possessiveness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> after a 3 month delay  
> idk if this makes sense good luck feed back is appreciated!  
> cross posted on tumbrl dot com  
> edit : edited since may 27 2015

     It wasn’t often that Uta had to deal with with touchy or sexually frustrated customers. His reputation as the only mask maker in Japan and as the terrifying leader of the 4th ward led his customers to always stay polite and wary. Any one who got on his bad side, people who messed with his shop or his relationships, would never get a mask made or repaired from him. Essentially, Uta would send the ghoul to suicide when hunger was too much yet there was nothing to save them from the Doves.

     Uta’s customers were usually grim and on edge; perched on the stool with a state of unease at the new surroundings and the vulnerability felt from an imperfect mask. Occasionally, the grisly nervous patron would be replaced by a curious, nervous, happy 13 year old with their parent, ready for their first mask. Sometimes a kind old lady would pop in only to chat with Kaneki, who enjoyed the gossip about the cute human couple she lived next door to who would have a baby girl soon, or sometimes when important events came up, ghoul doings as well. But not all creatures, human or ghoul, were polite or cautious. There were several instances when Kaneki had to break a finger or two, occasionally sprain a wrist to have them leave him alone.

     The first time someone had taken a stab at seducing Kaneki was when a middle aged ghoul came into the shop to get his mask fixed. Uta didn’t like this customer very much, his past interactions with this man led him to close shop early and break some things out of being incredibly pissed off, which says something if it makes the ever calm ghoul go from humorous to murderous.

     Kaneki was sitting on the couch that hour with one of his dog-tailed novels, his shoulders covered by a quilt and his black hair pushing into his eyes. Uta had turned away to get his equipment assembled to fix the crack in the customer’s mask. He had sat the male down on the examination stool, and left him to his own devices for a few minutes. Usually customers would take those few minutes to look around and get accustomed, check for danger, or chat with their companion if one happened to come along with them. Sometimes if Kaneki was feeling up to peeking out of his cocoon of blankets he would engage in a short conversation on books if the patron seemed knowledgeable of them. After a glance at the oily haired customer, Kaneki decided to pay him no mind and immerse himself further in his reread of Takatsuki’s works. The customer did look around at first, his head swiveling wildly to examine the mildly grotesque masks displayed on the walls, but spotting Kaneki on the couch a better idea popped into his head and a predatory grin replaced the guarded expression on his blemished face. Turning his head in the half-ghoul’s direction he spoke:

     “Hey there…” The greeting was unusual, and Uta paused for a second and looked up at the male. Kaneki also in surprise, jerked his head towards the customer at the interruption and like, Uta stared in shock.

     “Excuse me?” Kaneki question his eyebrows pulling down in confusion and disbelief, a tinge of unease in his questioning glance. The customer’s gaze was anything but benevolent or full of good intentions, just peeking from his cocoon at the man sent an uneasy shiver down his spine; a centipede scurried down through the jelly of his spine. Sensing his unease Uta, glanced over at the young male and then turned to the customer.

     “I’ll politely ask you not to bother him.” Uta stared at the man, his complexion resembling an owls from his unblinking kakugan. The man didn’t bother to turn toward him, disregarding the gentle ghoul’s a threat he spoke to Kaneki again.

     “You don’t have to hide you know, I won’t hurt you,”—the smirk grew wider, contradicting his statement, –“You should call me up later, I can help you out.” The man didn’t need to elaborate, the offer was as clear as day and definitely not appreciated.

     Kaneki’s eyebrows rose and his eyes widened as he shifted uncomfortably on the couch, sending a pleading look to Uta. Unable to handle his precious black-haired beauty feeling uncomfortable, Uta walked over to the customer still grinning and lightly nudged him off the examination chair. The man looked at Uta in annoyance at the interruption, which turned into confusion as the tattooed ghoul gave back the customer’s torn mask. With a polite smile Uta said:

     “Please leave.” The simple command, spoken in a soft yet warning tone left the ghoul standing in bewilderment for a few seconds staring at his broken mask.

     “What the fuck, fix my mask I’m paying you for it! Why does it matter if I talk to him, I’m a great person to talk to.” The man was scowling and several veins became visible around his eyes, warning of a kakuhou that he wasn’t afraid of showing.

     “Because you are attempting to claim something that has already been claimed.” Uta hated being possessive; he felt as if it dehumanized, well, de-personified, as a lack of a better word, Kaneki and objectified him when he already didn’t feel real, but sometimes in such situations he really needed his point to be understood.

     Pushing the mask into the man’s hands, he deftly snagged unwilling fingers to pull back until they cracked. The customer left immediately cursing at the pain in his hand and at Uta. Kaneki went up to their bed with his cocoon and didn’t come down from their room for the next few customers and later, let Uta pull him into many apology kisses over the annoying customer.

* * *

 

     The second time Uta needed to assert that Kaneki was his was when the half-ghoul had returned with Uta to the studio after his forced stay with Jason. Tsukiyama had begun hounding him, determined to spend as much time with him so that eventually he could get a piece of the new, partially formed kakuja Kaneki, or at least to make sure that no one else ate him.

     Tsukiyama had finally found where Kaneki spent most of his free days, it wasn’t hard to find him if someone really tried, but Kaneki always knocked him out before he left so he wouldn’t follow, he never took kindly to pursuers. When Tsukiyama would finally recover, Kaneki’s scent would get trodden over by humans, making it tough to track no matter how distinguishing and feminine his scent was. Tsukiyama finally managed to get the information from Hinami after giving her an abundance of flowers and coffee flavored candies.

     Tsukiyama barged into the shop still wobbly from his blow to the temple induced nap. Kaneki and Uta were both lying on the couch, taking a minute away from customers to pursue fleeting affection; Uta had wrapped his arms around Kaneki and was nuzzling into his neck, peppering soft kisses on to it while Kaneki was trying his best not to laugh at Uta’s attempts to distract him from his book. Tsukiyama had entered with a loud, breathy yell of Kaneki’s name, which caused Kaneki to stop laughing and look tiredly at Tsukiyama. Uta also lifted his head, curious at the entrance of purple haired ghoul. Disregarding the rather cold treatment, Tsukiyama went over to the couple on the couch, earning a stare from Uta that screamed too close. The Gourmet paid the look no mind and kneeled down with his hand covering half of his face, and said in a soft and an interestingly tortured voice,

      “Kaneki-kun, may I have a nibble as well!” Kaneki assumed, and hoped that the ghoul was still experiencing symptoms from a concussion, (healing from a concussion only took several hours to heal in ghoul terms). This led Kaneki to stand up and pull Tsukiyama out of the door, more of an annoyed shove. After a few minutes and a whispered “Kaneki-kun…”, Kaneki came back inside sucking on his palm where a rivulet of blood had cascaded down his wrist. It healed after a few seconds and he climbed back into Uta’s lap. The raven, in an act of savage ghoulish custom, licked the cooling blood from his forearm.

     “You better not have let him take the blood from the skin.” Uta said pulling on the broken skin with his teeth.

     “Of course not, I only wiped it on his handkerchief.” Ghoul mates, never, ever let anyone but their mate take their blood straight from the wound or skin around it. The scent of the mate would be pressed into the wound and infuse the scent into the flesh in animalistic possessiveness. Kaneki smiled as Uta reverted back to the peaceful ghoul he knew best and was content to let his lover beg for shallow kisses until bedtime.

     Uta would leave several days later for an errand and go “talk” with Tsukiyama about interrupting their time together, and what it meant to be the third wheel in situations like that.

* * *

 

     Today though, the group that came into the shop was quite large, a gang of high school students; ghouls at the age where at they would have been going to high school if they could control themselves. The main ghoul, the alpha male, the captain of the football team, sat at the examination stool, joking with friends who congregated around him while Uta got his measuring utensils. Kaneki had in the meantime just gotten out of the shower.

     There was only one bathroom in the studio, and it was in the shop area for anyone to use, their bedroom spacious, yet not spacious enough to add another bathroom. In all honesty, there wasn’t any need for two bathrooms, even strangers curious about the mixed scents in the bathroom weren’t enough of a problem to force them to decide about an extra bathroom. Since there was only one currently, it meant either taking showers at night or in the early morning before the shop opened. Kaneki had been too tired to shower the night before, and too lazy to shower before opening shop. He didn’t really care much at this point in his life on what people thought of his body, it was just a body, everybody has one, so that made him more prone to walk around without a shirt on for an hour or two before he got cold, or annoyed that a blanket kept on scratching unpleasantly at his bare skin.

     After drying his hair and donning a pair of sweatpants for decency he walked out of the bathroom and into the shop area. Before he could grab his book from the table there was a whistle, and then the voice of the leader sounded out from the chair.

     “Wooh! Nice body babe.” The teen said appreciatively, eyeing Kaneki’s recently acquired muscles. And indeed Kaneki did have a nice body; Uta agreed with that statement, but definitely not with the tone, the phrasing, and the person the statement was coming from. Twitching his eyebrows Uta shut the drawer a little louder than he usually did.

     “Please shut up.” Said Kaneki picking up his book and plopping himself onto the leather couch, annoyance lacing into his posture.

     “Aw, come on babe; don’t be a stick in the mud!” Another piped up, encouraged by the leaders boldness. Kaneki stiffened even more and Uta scowled and gave a growl that went unnoticed by the young group.

     “Yeah hon! Show us more will you?” A third voice teased and Uta clenched his tape measurer. Kaneki stood up, and a thud resounded from around his knees, he tossed his book on the glass table, and glowered at the floor sending a sly glare to the group around the stool. He left the room and made his way upstairs and then reappeared, forcefully sitting down on the leather couch. The couch screeched against the tile floors as he picked up his book, his tension translating to the movement of the couch. The Kaneki that came back down was annoyed, and in Uta’s shirt. The shirt itself reeking of Uta was a sign itself of being claimed, and Uta had to hold back a snort that threatened to escape, since the shirt didn’t just smell of him, it also reeked of sex. Their sex, the sex that made Kaneki too tired to shower afterwards and too lazy to shower early in the morning.

     Uta steeled his face into a neutrally terrifying expression and stepped towards the group. He placed his hand on the customer’s shoulder on the chair from behind, and squeezed it painfully.

     “He’s mine.” Spoken with a fierce low growl Uta dug his nails into the boy’s shoulder making him elicit an embarrassing squeak.

     The boy, obviously not expecting, and unused to harsh treatment from fellow ghouls stood up immediately, backing towards the door.

     “Please refrain from claiming something that has already been claimed.” Uta’s eyes flashed; his words unusually menacing. The boys stared in shock and with a bow and a quick and scared “We’re sorry!!” They left the shop. Kaneki in the meanwhile had sat up head resting on his hands on the back of the couch. Tilting his head and smiling, Uta couldn’t help but walk over and lean over to the couch and capture his lips, sliding his tongue into his mouth and eventually pushing him down onto the couch. Kaneki gave a content hum as the older ghoul’s tongue lavished at his pulse point, causing his heart to race and blood to fill with adrenaline.

     “You’re mine.” Uta rumbled through the traveling bites on his lover’s collarbone.

     “I like it.”—Kaneki purred out through the pleasure.—“I like being yours.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wowie  
> man ill hopefully get those other prompts that are collecting dust in my ask box typed up  
> sorry for the big wait anon  
> idk if i made possessiveness a clear concept


	4. Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cancelled classes and incredibly hot, harmful showers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKOK thiS is for roku-chan @tumblr ohmg im sorry sorry this is like 8 months late  
> ((edited as of may 29 2015))

     For some ridiculous reason, he was awake. It took him a second to come to terms with the fact that he was not in fact, dreaming. There was silence, and he reluctantly peeled his eyes open and looked toward the bedside table. If the numbers were anything to go by, he had 3 hours and 34 minutes left to sleep until the same visage activated a persistent beeping to which they woke up every morning.

     High school had been a nightmare, Kaneki had to wake up at 6 am and drag himself to a 7 hour torture spree. Torture spree which included pubescent teens reeking of bad cologne and thick perfume, and an ever present stench of piss and sex in the school bathrooms. Social interactions followed him day by day, and even though he could be a persuasive and moving speaker, he was timid and unwilling to make opinions or statements of his own that would cause offense and anger. Unfortunately, he was imprisoned in classrooms with loud kids to talk to and projects to unwillingly present.

     College, on the other hand, had made Kaneki complacent and lazy. There were no more sleepless nights with visible consequences, no more deadlines with looming dates and little time, his entire week didn’t suddenly end waking up one morning to find that it was Friday, and a book signing he had hoped to see happened on Tuesday and he was too swamped down to visit. It opened up a life for Kaneki though that he realized he needed very much. He had time, lot’s of it if he planned several months in advance, and stuck to his schedule. With already planned out homework assignments given to him at the beginning of his class, he could finish them with ample time left over, to leave time to laze about at his lover’s studio. The social interactions were also minimal, Kaneki could keep human contact at a minimum, and not sabotage his hard won peaceful situation. Of course all of this was much preferable to a ghoul who only needed more books to read and a large supply of coffee to drink.

     He was majoring in Literature, big surprise to everyone who knew him. After months of havoc and then weeks of tranquility he had decided to go back to finish college and resume his classes after his abrupt interruption. He had been the wiser and scheduled all of his classes after lunch, and reveled in the late mornings he could share with Uta. Uta, surprisingly enough had decided to go with the half-ghoul and take a few art courses, he mostly did it out of slow business and enough time to spare. With a 10:15 anatomy lecture, Uta was absolutely miserable, his sleeping habits made him so. And today was no exception, at 9 am that alarm clock would ring a deathly screech and force them to wake up. Kaneki always preferred to wake up with Uta, and see him off rather than sleep in and miss  their morning coffee routine, upheld almost religiously.

     A clap of thunder pulled him out of his daze, Kaneki wondered why he was awake again and shut his eyes. A second after he closed them, his phone vibrated violently against his bedside table, shaking the lamp and the clock as well as several books which were stacked upon each other topped with an ever present mug. Untangling one of his arms from his lover’s grasp he pulled the phone towards his ear and listened groggily at the automated voice behind the call. The machine played the recording several times and when Kaneki had fully understood the meaning of the call, he shut the phone and chucked it across the room, where it clattered on the wooden boards. With that same hand he smacked the off button on the alarm, ensuring its muteness, fully sealing his lover’s and his fate for the rest of the day.

     Uta shifted and with a strong tug pulled Kaneki’s arm away to make sure he didn’t destroy the machine and pulled it towards his chest, sleepily kissing each knuckle.

     “What’s going on?” His voice was laced with sleep and Kaneki shifted himself to curl against the older ghoul’s chest.

     “Cancelled classes all day, sleep.” And with that they shut their eyes and fell back into deep sleep with the violent rain pushing against the glass in the window.

 

* * *

  

     When Kaneki had finally forced open his eyes, he was greeted to a cold bed, grey skies and a river pushing down on Uta’s studio. The apartment didn’t have any leaks, thank god, but he could feel the chill from the water that ran against the walls outside of the building. With a startling clap of thunder Kaneki forced himself up on his elbows, the white sheets sliding off his chest as he slowly came into awareness. He heard the bathroom door opening and saw Uta coming up the stairs, chest bare and low sitting, black sweat pants on his hips, toweling his wet hair.

     “You’re finally awake.” Uta noted, looking up with mild surprise at Kaneki’s upright form. Even if Kaneki was mostly a morning bird, it didn’t necessarily mean that he enjoyed getting up early in the morning; his body and mind did not agree to the other’s schedule. When he could Kaneki would sleep, he would ignore his body’s protests at sleeping longer than past 8 and his mind would cloud over with white haze and pull him in for hours and hours until the sun had rose and set and the moon shone high over ever moving city. On those days, Uta didn’t bother waking him up, it was incredibly useless since no matter what he tried the white haired male would be the sleeping princess, cursed to sleep for a hundred years before true love’s kiss could wake him. In Kaneki’s case though, kisses didn’t work, (Uta tried).

     “I am, surprisingly enough,” Kaneki replied his voice was croaked with sleep and exhaustion pulled at his eyelids. Uta stepped to the bed and threaded his hand through his lover’s white hair, gently tugging on the strands as Kaneki closed his eyes and let out a serene hum that added to the soft sounds of the rain and thunder in the background. Uta leant down, his hands sliding down his cheek and then jaw, lightly framing his neck and tilting Kaneki’s head up, to place a lingering kiss on his forehead. At the movement, Kaneki’s purrs increased and one of his own hands came to hold one of Uta’s arms in acceptance of his action.

     “I’ll make coffee, you go wake up.” Uta said as he pulled away, disengaging from his lover’s grip, an amused smile gracing his lips at the sight of Kaneki’s slight pout. The half-ghoul then stood up, wobbling slightly and pausing when he finally caught his balance, letting the stilled blood in his body resume its course. Convinced that his companion could stand, the raven went downstairs to begin the process of their mid-morning drink.

     Kaneki watched the ghoul leave, and began his trip to the bathroom, snagging a pair of sweatpants and a stray shirt from the floor, piling it on the floor in the bathroom again. He turned on the shower, and stepped in and immediately jerked violently away as the water that hit him was on par with winter snow, even though Uta had showered just a few minutes ago. He attempted to make himself as small as possible to ward away the freezing drops that stunned him out of his hazy state. Kaneki slid underneath the glacial waterfall and squeezed as close as he could to the chilly shower wall and made his way towards the tap to push it sharply to the left and then relaxed as the hot water replaced the torrents of ice. The cold water did the trick though, and Kaneki felt mostly alert, at least until the water became steaming hot and he began slipping again into drowsiness. By the time the steam had fogged the mirror he had slid down to lay in the tub, letting the the hot streams of water pour on his stomach. He stayed in the shower, eyes closed until the heat became too much, and his stomach began to ache from the intense head of prolonged exposure, making him feel light-headed and nauseous. With reluctance, even in his uncomfortable form he reached to shut off the water and step out, drying off and slowly pulling on his clothes. He stepped out to the cold air of the main studio and felt refreshed from the heat  and rather cold. A shiver crawled down his spine and escaped his from his body in a violent fit of twitching muscles. Being exposed to the heat-less air relieved the pressure on his growing headache but the nausea had still yet to forsake him.

     Kaneki turned his head towards the soft sound of movement and saw the tattooed ghoul messing around next to the entrance, flipping the open sign to closed and then locking the door. Kaneki rubbed his stomach in mild discomfort while Uta turned around and gave him a slight smile.

     “You did it again didn’t you?” He said, already knowing of the answer, Kaneki nodded in unneeded confirmation, it wasn’t the first time he had stayed under the burning shower for too long, his looked at the clock standing at the workbench and made a face at how long he spent under the heat, 45 minutes, maybe more, since the water had begun to get cold around that time.

     “Come and drink, it might make you feel better,” Uta said and walked past him, snagging his hand and pulling him towards the kitchen where two cups of coffee were placed under a bowl to preserve heat. Uta removed the bowl and placed it to the side, and slid one of the ornate cups to Kaneki. The cups were a gift from the Manager from when the young ghoul decided to work again at Anteiku. As a welcome back gift, the cups were presented in a padded box, and Kaneki had opened it to reveal the shiny, glaze covered cups decorated in swirls of blue on one cup and swirls of green on the other. He had recalled seeing a similar cup in the Manager’s office, yet never asked about it. Kaneki took a sip and sighed as the warm coffee slipped down his throat and settled into his stomach, mostly relieving the ache. The coffee wasn’t as scalding as he would’ve liked it to be, but it was his own fault for staying in the bathroom for so long and letting the coffee cool even after Uta had started making 30 minutes after the start of Kaneki’s shower, expecting the long absence.

     “Good morning,” says Kaneki, finally properly greeting his mate. They were leaning against the counter, the chairs seemed too far apart for them today so they forsook them for the more comfortable proximity behind the coffee maker. Kaneki set his cup down and pulled Uta’s cup away from him as well. His hands reached up to cup his lover’s face and tilt it down and seal their lips together, showing gratitude for the attention. Uta’s lips were soft and tasted like coffee and Kaneki couldn’t help but sink into the raven’s arms, who wrapped them around Kaneki’s waist and stroke the small of his back near his kakuhou, applying just enough pressure to amplify the serenity of the moment. Kaneki pulled back and nudged Uta’s chin a bit higher with the top of his head, so he could fit his head into the crook of the taller ghoul’s neck and absorb his scent. No matter how many times Kaneki did this, he could not get enough of it; of feeling Uta’s scent envelop him completely, shutting down his mind and focusing only on the slightly increased heartbeat that his love was giving off, which lulls him into a state of perpetual drowsiness. With increasing reluctance Kaneki opened his eyes and mumbled into Uta’s throat something about going back to bed, and cuddling. Laziness had completely taken over the young ghoul.

     Uta had hummed in agreement and untangled himself from Kaneki, he took the cooling cups into both hands and followed Kaneki up to the second story, where the white haired boy had grabbed his laptop and connected it to the charging station, and climbed into the bed, the rain on the lower floor was less noticeable, but when Uta stepped upstairs the sound of it increased to a loud murmur. He realized that along with getting settled with the computer Kaneki had also opened the window to let the cool air refresh their bedroom. Uta, who had thoughtfully grabbed the cups from the kitchen counter, placed them on the nightstand, and paused for a minute to make sure that the rain wasn’t leaking onto the window sill. There wasn’t any evidence of it for now, and the raven was content to leave the window be and slide next to his lover on the bed, pulling the dark red comforter up to cover their legs.

     “Ken?” Uta asked nudging his shoulder against his companion’s, raising the silent question of concern to the young ghoul’s health.

     “Yes?” The answer is both a response to his name being called, and an answer to the silently posed question. Kaneki nudged him back and absentmindedly rubbed his stomach again, focused on opening the giant list of torrented movies stored on his computer. The black-haired ghoul pushed the laptop away for a moment and slipped one of his hands underneath Kaneki’s shirt, drawing his fingers from the white haired boy’s hips to his ribs, and then lightly applying pressure to where he assumed the discomfort was. Kaneki first jerks from the rather sudden contat at the ticklish skin on his stomach, but quickly relaxed and closed his eyes, letting Uta pull up his shirt to caress his abdomen. The raven scooted closer and placed his head onto his lover’s stomach, and Kaneki grunted with surprise and opened his eyes to confirm the weight pressing against him. His surprised expression softened when he saw that the older ghoul had made himself comfortable using his midsection.

     Kaneki lifted a hand and drew it in a light pattern over Uta’s cheekbone, mapping out all of the contours of his mate’s face, and then slid it back to massage his head to which Uta had released a soft breath out of pleasure. His eyes opened and Kaneki drew one of his thumbs across Uta’s lip, and began to move it away to graze other parts of his ghoul’s face, only to have his wrist caught and a chaste kiss placed to his thumb. Kaneki smiled and allowed Uta to lift himself up again and lean over him. He placed soft kisses to the white haired ghoul’s neck, which traveled up to his jaw and then to the corner of his mouth, his hands sliding against the smooth skin on Kaneki’s abdomen. Their tongues slid together and both let out a pleased sound, the kiss was soft, and lacked the hurried heated pace that sometimes replaced their usual peaceful pace, when paranoia would become too much and the terror of losing their peace would overcome them. When they pulled apart, Uta pulled Kaneki and his laptop onto his own lap where Kaneki rested his head against the raven’s collarbone, his soft, slightly damp hair tickling Uta’s neck. The raven buried his nose into Kaneki’s hair inhaling the unmistakable smell of his shampoo and placed several kisses to the shell of the younger ghoul’s ear.

     When they finally got around to choosing a movie, they decided on a B rated movie, one of Uta’s favorites. Kaneki didn’t particularly mind, and only cringed at some of the acting on the screen. The movies began and ended, looping around to the next one that Uta had selected with deft fingers. Their coffee had been forgotten and stilled, cold, and the rain continued washing away the streets.

     “Why were there no classes today? You never told me.” Kaneki was slowly dozing off, but at the sound of Uta’s voice vibrating through his chest and the feel of the raven’s fingers resuming their fiddling with his own he had shaken away his drowsiness enough to respond.

     “They said the roads were bad I think, and that there was some flooding in the main building from the rain,” he replied, furrowing his eyebrows at the thought of the possible water damage in one of his classrooms which was located in the lower floor of the main building. Uta burrowed his nose into Kaneki’s hair once again and hummed in acceptance to the explanation, continuing his attention to the younger ghoul’s ribs. They lapsed back into silence, neither of them really paying attention to the screen, satisfied in each other’s company and the rain pulling them gently in and out of slumber.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u would like to try and put your faith into me once again and ask for more prompts then plz head to aobears on tumblr or in the comment section that works as well!!hmhmhm
> 
> i switched tenses like 500 times excuse
> 
> also idk if this is just for me, but if i stay underneath a hot shower for too long i also get nauseous which is rlly weird idk


	5. I will be your home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt fill for lovely Bonzu Pipinpadaloxicopolis The Third (samwise1327) for a prompt with "worried Uta? Maybe because kaneki doesn't take good care of himself?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk if i got enough worry in, i was inspired by the tgra finale and i finally finished it up so u could consider it as a "what happened after??" so this is both an attempt to satisfy the prompt and get my own feels out lol  
> idk if this makes sense try to decipher my dear friends im pretty sure i have like 24 thousand holes in this narrative that im too tired to fix

     He smells him before he sees or hears him. Specifically, he smells fresh blood that wafts through his open windows on the cold breeze, metallic, and sweet and there’s absolutely way too much of it if he can smell it before hearing the one it belongs to. Kaneki doesn’t ever come back bloody, not in the general sense of the word, as in covered head to toe in blood, hands masked in it and mouth and cheeks smeared with it by stray hand movements with an aching grin or terrified wailing. Maybe he would come back with a stray cut that he had forgotten about, or maybe a splatter on his shirt cuff where the dark alleyways prevented him from noticing the bright red to cover it or clean it. This time it was different, Uta had never smelled this much blood on Kaneki, this much life streaming from wounds that almost refused to heal, even with abnormal recovery time.

     The Kaneki that bursts into the studio, is wild, someone that Uta is sure he has never seen before, a new Kaneki. A completely different ghoul with the same features as the complacent ghoul filled with incomprehensible sadness. The Kaneki Uta sees is wild, covered in blood that is both his own and not, clutching at his side on which the skin is tattered and the muscles behind are screaming in agony. His hair is matted with clotting blood, from the side of his head, staining the soft locks with crimson. His cheeks are a mass of cuts, slowly healing and Uta knows that it’s a high level Quinque that he fought. Quinques of high level Doves are covered with a substance that slows ghoul regeneration rate, he’s encountered some of them in his rare fights, but the substance is a secret one, and not accessible to a 3rd rate Inspector. Not only are his cheeks amassed with splattered with blood, the veins of his kakugan, stretch across his cheek and curve down his chin, not just around his eye but half of his face is straining to supply blood. Kaneki’s limping as he bursts through the studio door, and Uta can see why, his foot is missing, replaced by a bloody stump that’s slowly regrowing, he’s leaning on it even so, hunched over to make sure he doesn’t fall. Each step must be hell incarnated, the raw muscle exposed and nerve ends on fire, blood spilling freely and Uta wonders how he’s come away alive, and how much blood he’s lost and how he’s still conscious, he must feel like he’s dying, he might be _dying_.

     The thing that most surprises, and understandably worries Uta is the wetness on his cheeks and the sobs that violently wrack the half-ghoul’s frame. Kaneki isn’t just crying, he’s sobbing, screaming in  what Uta thought at first was first physical pain, (he was partially right), but then realized was a separate name, currently indecipherable from the blood pooling at the corner of his lover’s mouth, sliding down his chin and adding to the puddle on his studio floor.

     Uta’s terrified.

     The terror pulls at his stomach until he’s nauseous, and his knees give way at the sight of his lover bleeding out. He’s seen deformities, he’s seen many wounds but nothing had ever prepared him to to the horror of seeing his lover, his starlight, torn in pieces. He doesn’t realize he’s sunk to the floor until heat touches his knees and stains his pants, the blood is spreading in a giant pool and if Uta doesn’t move, Kaneki is going to die.

     He’s terrified at the amount of tears expelled from his eyes, Kaneki has never cried in front of him, at least not after his incident with Jason. He’s terrified at the blood, he’s scared of Kaneki dying from blood-loss or shock, he forces himself up from the ground and stands with his toes touching blood in a complete loss of what to do with terror pulling him towards Kaneki and pushing him away to hide and never feel the rolling black hole in his stomach and stabbing in his chest.

     It’s heart wrenching and all Uta can do is pull him into his arms and move him to the bathroom, he can’t say anything, he can’t react, his face stays at an impassive facade that he knows as soon as Kaneki sleeps, will break and he might as well fall apart.

     The boy in his arms is still sobbing, still bleeding and still twitching, his body wracking with spasm after spasm as air fails to reach his lungs and blood drains out of him ounce by ounce. The blood regenerates, it’s enough that it keeps him alive for now when a human in his place would be dead ages ago. He’s losing blood more than he’s regenerating and if Uta doesn’t stop it, Kaneki is absolutely, royally fucked.

     He plugs the drain and leaves to find his first aid box, along with all of the stored flesh in his fridge. When he returns Kaneki’s sobs haven’t quieted, but he’s glad to see that his instincts have remained intact enough to take a chunk of his own arm to regenerate. He’s also relieved that Kaneki’s foot had partially grown back, the ankle and part of the heel has returned but the blood still flows freely, and his side is still torn. The tub is dyed crimson and Kaneki is practically bathing in the 3 inches of accumulated blood which Uta knows that no amount of bleach will ever rid no matter how hard he tries.

     He’s seen the news, and he’s seen the burning red glare in the distance, and the involvement of the CCG, and by now, he can guess what had occurred. He doesn’t ask, (and he knows that Kaneki will not answer), his stomach heaving and his own eyes watering he wets a cloth and presses it against Kaneki’s partially formed foot, the white of the cloth disappears. This wouldn’t do, too much blood, too much blood; it’s a mantra in his head, the only words he can understand, he can’t heal a stump if it won’t reform. Uta tears off a chunk of his arm with his teeth, and with shaking hands, forces it down Kaneki’s throat who chokes and coughs at the flesh entering his body. It does the trick, his foot, along with his side continue to reform. Uta gives him the blood from his arm as well before it fully heals, and he can tell that Kaneki gets stronger, as the regeneration stabilizes and slowly, achingly slowly the cuts on his face heal, and the arch of Kaneki’s foot reappears with some of the skin on his side also pulling together

     Uta strips Kaneki completely, throwing the torn bloodied garments to the floor behind him and find his needle and thread, and returns. He takes another cloth, a pillow case since it’s the first thing he could find and cleans the blood from his side, patting at the torn flesh as gently and efficiently as he could. Kaneki lets out another strangled sob at the contact and Uta doesn’t know at this point whether he’s inflicting more damage or if he’s easing it. He takes the needle and thread, and sews it together, it wouldn’t do Kaneki any good if his skin healed with his innards hanging out of his body.

     By now, he’s able to decipher Kaneki’s sobs, the name he’s been chanting over and over.

     It’s Hide.

     Not only are his sobs for Hide being repeated over and over and tears pour over his cheeks like waterfalls but he’s also calling for home, a home that he cannot have anymore, no place in both worlds because Anteiku had been burned to nothing and Hide had left and he had no home to go to.

     “I will be your home”

 

* * *

     

     When Kaneki finally passes out from exhaustion and pain, Uta breaks down. His hands are covered his starlight’s blood as if he was the one who inflicted his wounds. His vision blurs and he can’t stand straight and leans against the cool wall of the studio. He vomits when he touches the floor, acid and half digested blood burns its way up Uta’s throat and Uta tries to muffle any sounds with his fist to not wake up the unconscious boy only a ways above him. He hadn’t seen Kaneki in a while, his involvement in the Aogiri prevented him to visit or make contact in any way. Uta had only learned of Kaneki’s involvement in Aogiri after Touka had come to the shop in panic, in need of comfort that Uta couldn’t provide. He hadn’t seen Kaneki in months, and at each mention of Aogiri or ghoul activity from the human news or ghoul gossip in his studio had made his stomach knot in discomfort and made him fidget. What a nice sight, to be greeted with a half-dead lover after months of absence.

     Despite that he couldn’t have the heart in him to be annoyed or angry or anything negative, they made no promises, they made no commitments that would allow them to get hurt either physically or emotionally. In the end it had come as emotional pain, they had both grown too attached.

     He’s angry, he’s worried that he might lose him, that he might be forced out of hard won peace as a mask-maker and once again strictly enforce the fourth ward and bring back the streets that ran with blood, all for revenge. Revenge was tiring, revenge was pointless if he ever got down to it, if he ever had to. But revenge was something that would always seize his soul and encase his mind until his essence would burn the fire red that was constant in his eyes. He’s selfish isn’t he? Worrying about his own mental state if his lover was dead even if he’s currently alive right now. Stuck planning in a future that might not even happen, how naive.

     Uta pulls himself up from the floor and gingerly steps over the blood on his tiles and shoves the door open eyeing the trail of red indents on the pristine night snow. It’s methodical, he doesn’t think while he scoops the bloodied snow and swallows it, the cold seeping into his teeth, leaving a sharp ache and sweetness at his tongue that on any other day he would’ve enjoyed. He doesn’t have time to do anything else, cover the tracks before whomever failed in killing Kaneki doesn’t decide to come back and finish the job. Anxiety pushes at his stomach, churning the melted bloodied snow as he smooths his tracks as well as he can while making his way down as close as he dares to the commotion of the raids and fire. He’s cold, his fingers are frozen and so is his stomach but blood pumps heat into his ears and all he can hear is the sound of his own breathing and squeak of his shoes on the snow, he hasn’t felt this way in a long while.

     He returns and cleans the blood in the studio, the bleach stings his nose and makes his eyes water as he tries to get rid of the lingering stains on his white tiles. The smell of Kaneki’s blood is gone but the discoloration is what Uta cannot stand; the memory is a stain enough, he needs no material confirmation. When he’s done, the stain is still partially there despite his efforts, he’s given up at scrubbing his tiles and memories that graphic and imprinting on his mind is too hard to clean out and eventually forget. Uta considers drinking the bleach he used. He sleeps on the floor next to Kaneki, too afraid to touch the figure curled like a withered leaf, afraid that one touch could shatter the boy like glass.

     When Kaneki woke up the next night, after sleeping for an unmeasurable amount of time, he was silent. Completely and utterly silent to a degree that worried Uta. It was the type of silence that was different from the usual silence where there was a mutual understanding that it didn’t need to be filled with words. It was a suffocating silence that screamed death. Kaneki stared out into space the entire day, his kakugan still shining and his eyes still completely emotionless. Uta wondered if this was the end. Uta wondered if this was where Kaneki would lie, his soul ruptured and pulled from his chest, no meaning to live anymore as almost everything that he had was taken away from him time and time again.

      Uta had been pulled into a bone crushing hug at that revelation and if he ever tried to pry himself away, the keen agonized screaming and the bone white grip on his fingers kept him in one spot and made him wonder if Kaneki was truly, irreparably, broken.

     “I will be your home.” Maybe he repeats it to convince Kaneki, maybe it’s to convince himself.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oops how late is this??  
> lol


	6. Balconies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> apartment au (uta sees his super hot neighbor when he moves in) that was asked from me like 1 year ago on tumblr by utterlyheartbroken and this is so late i have no excuse orz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM DEEPLY SORRY TO THE PERSON WHO ASKED AN APARTMENT AU FROM ME A YEAR AGO TUMBLR USER IF YOU READ THIS ,,,,,  
> -  
> i feel like this is really different from how i usually write? idk theres less insight analyzation stuff that i usually do (or have been doing) and theres more action type stuff idk, u can tell where i got frustrated at the end and i just became vague

     Dropping the last box in the entry way and locking the door behind him, Kaneki Ken, 3rd Year Literature Major in College, is out of a public dorm, and in his own apartment to which he can proudly say, he pays the rent himself. It’s not a big apartment per say, and neither is his paycheck from the coffee shop job that pays the rent and bills. It’s not enough for lavish carpets or big TV’s or anything expensive, but it’s enough to enjoy a shelf (or more in Kaneki’s case) of good books and a fully stocked fridge. The apartment was small, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a kitchen connected to the small living room which led to a balcony. The balcony was great, it allowed for fresh air in the rather musty apartment complex and he could see himself at some point beginning to plant herbs and flowers to enhance his city life. Sure the balcony looked out into a mostly dead alley, ways away from a busy street, but it was worth it, even if the prettiest view one could probably enjoy is the cat cleaning itself on a the lid of a trashcan. But it had a balcony, a balcony of all things in the middle of busy, jammed Tokyo where personal space was valued yet never given by the sheer amount of people present.

     Kaneki ran a hand through his white hair, a remnant of his rather eccentric third year in high school (complete with the death of his new girlfriend and getting into the hands of a large gang), and stumbled his way into the bathroom. For how little he owned, he had a lot of boxes, mostly filled with books that he refused to give up or forget after his mother’s death. He refused to let them be sold with the house and refused to give them away. So he tugged the entrails of his father’s study box by box. First to his aunt’s, who tolerated the books as long as he kept them out of sight, and then to his first year of college where they lay in boxes in his dorm, opened periodically to be taken out and lovingly reread. Now they were to be laid to rest in his own apartment which he was determined to keep for a very long time.

     Before stepping into the bathroom, Kaneki bent over a box labeled ‘clothes’ in an almost unreadable scratchy scrip, and pulled out a pair of clean white pants and a black shirt. He showered, getting rid of the dirt and dust from his boxes, and changed, deciding that for one day he had done enough work. He walked out, wet hair dripping onto his shirt, and slid the door open to the balcony. The warm air of late August greets the white haired college student as he steps out, and he lets out a sigh of relief from finishing the process of transferring his belongings. Looking around, he spots that his neighbors also (unsurprisingly) have balconies. Looking to his direct neighbor’s, he sees with disappointment that it’s barren, and then he spots the most luscious plants he’s seen outside of the country side or a flower shop. It’s full of bushes of lavender colored Heather, and small bushes of dying Forsythias, young blooms of which whither and scatter to the alley below. Tall stalks of Amaryllises stick in the corners of the balcony in their separate pots. The colors chosen are mere afterthoughts, except the heather, all chosen for their meaning or personal attachment. Kaneki’s eyes travel to the dark shape amongst the colorful cloud, the tattooed figure which cared for the small garden.

     Kaneki wasn’t one to swear often, but _Holy fucking shit,_ was his neighbor, or neighbor-of-an-apartment-away, really, really hot. It’s not as if Kaneki hasn’t seen hot people, he has, but realizing that this person lived two doors down from him, and wasn’t just a passerby on the street. He also tends to a blooming garden, and understood flower meanings; it has an astounding effect on reddening his cheeks. The man holds a red watering can in his hands, hands which are decorated in climbing tattoos that wind around his arms and climb under his sleeves. Pale skin is interrupted by the glinting of silver, and his hair is tied back away from his neck. The man is clad in dark loose garments that hide his true form, but when he angles himself towards Kaneki, he flashes a toned, tattooed chest, and looks curiously at Kaneki, tilting a half-shaven head he greets him with a smile. It only served to deepen the red in Kaneki’s cheeks and after a shy wave and a smile of his own, Kaneki hurries to scurry back into his newly bought apartment and bury his face in his hands. He may have dealt with a gang, he may have momentarily been with said gang and done some unspeakable things, but none of that means that he has gotten the courage to be acknowledged by an aesthetically pleasing—who is he kidding, gorgeous person.

-

     Out of sheer lack of courage, Kaneki refuses to go to the balcony for a while; he only leaves the door open to let in fresh air. It’s only one morning, after waking up and leaning against the counter with a book, one from the boxes that he has still shamefully not unpacked yet, waiting for his coffee to brew does he feel the caress of the warm morning breeze. The temptation of sunlight and warmth is too great, and he ventures outside. After deeming that his neighbors were shut safely away he drags a recently purchased arm chair onto the balcony, where whether it’s by chance or an unconscious awareness of his neighbor-of-an-apartment-away, does the arm chair face said neighbor. Grabbing his coffee and his book he relaxes himself to a morning with little worries.

     He doesn’t know when the gaze began or how long it was watching, but Kaneki was relaxed. He was happy to be stretched out on his arm chair, breeze ruffling his hair and the corners of his book, time now insignificant. It turns to a point where the gaze has been on him for too long, and that he can no longer concentrate on the murderous tendencies of a character in his book. He glances up quickly and with a start realizes that it’s the man with the half shaven head and the calm smile that’s also relaxed on a chair of his own, coffee cup in hand and a sketchpad on his knees. He gives a well-natured smile and a nod and Kaneki does the same, yet nervously, looking back down at his book with his red tinted cheeks, thoughts spinning a mile a minute. _Was he drawing? Was he drawing me? No, no no, the flowers. He was drawing the flowers obviously, why would they even be there if he wasn’t drawing them?_ And with cheeks deepening in color with every passing moment after realizing that the glance hasn’t let up, Kaneki sets his book down and scurries back into his apartment.

     It is late afternoon when he realizes that it’s about to rain. Kaneki stares longingly at his abandoned book and at the ominous clouds gathering above it. Summer storms were brutal, that book wouldn’t survive, what a shame, he liked that one. It was a Takatsuki novel, the new one, the one that she had signed. His conscious screamed at him. With an aggravated sigh the white haired college student opens the sliding door and steps out, determined to grab his book and go back inside. His eyes stray to the left and sees to his horror, (and secretly pleasure), his neighbor watering his flowers. The stems are close to dying and weak petals flutter at the light rain of the watering can. The man doesn’t notice him and Kaneki picks up his book.

     “I-it’s about to rain, why are you watering your flowers?” He mentally groans and scolds himself for his wavering voice that had without thinking escaped and made his presence noticeable. The man stops and looks up in surprise, his watering can slowing its drops.

     “I’m never sure how long the summer rain will last,” Kaneki mentally cringes as he feels his stomach churn at the smooth voice. “So I like to water them before hand so they get enough,”

     “What if they get too much?” Kaneki isn’t sure why he’s continuing the conversation, as polite as it is he doesn’t even know the man’s name.

     “Then they die,” The simplicity of the answer almost shocks Kaneki, a resigned fact that things come to an end no matter what you do, a philosophy to let things be that Kaneki only adopted after high school.

     “Oh,” There’s a pause and Kaneki isn’t sure if he should leave, even if it is his own balcony and he has full rights to be there. The man resumes watering, his movements are fluid and smooth, like his voice. He stares almost transfixed, book hugged to his chest.

     “Uta,” Kaneki doesn’t first understand, and then widens his eyes.

     “Kaneki Ken,” Uta smiles. Kaneki only moves when moments later the first drops of the oncoming storm make themselves known on his nose and hands. He leaves with a parting murmur that’s quiet yet he hopes Uta can hear.

     “I’m glad that you’re proud of your flowers, they’re really pretty.” ** _*_**

-

     Kaneki’s braver about going out in the morning to enjoy his coffee on the balcony, stabled by the knowledge of his neighbor’s name and the anticipation that Uta could also be out there, sketching, or even like Kaneki himself, drinking coffee. The flowers had all died from the onslaught of the brutal summer storm; the blooming garden was no longer colorful, only barren and brown. It was morning when Kaneki realized the development, along with the fact that he had forgotten to take his arm chair from the rain. His arm chair was sadly quite heavily soaked for a solid few days until the hot August sun had dried the last of the rain from the depths of the feathers.

     It was a week later, the beginning of September, when Kaneki was finally able to sit in his armchair and leave with dry pants. When he did, he noticed that instead of the brown stalks of the flowers he had seen after the summer rain, a new bright arrangement of flowers was carefully planted. Yellow Zinnias lay quietly amongst the mass of warm colored Azaleas and Gloxinias which in turn made him blush. Uta chose this moment of embarrassment to walk outside, coffee cup in hand. Kaneki hid his face in his Takatsuki novel.

     “Do you like the new arrangement?” The words were teasing and Kaneki could feel the smile in Uta’s tone. The bookworm nodded, face still hidden in his book.

-

     Conversations ranged long and short, friendship and admiration grew between Uta and Kaneki. Warm September turned into yellow leafed October, which turned into barren November, chill growing with each day. It was the middle of November when Kaneki heard a knock on his apartment door. He was rubbing the sleep out if eyes when he heard the knock.. He wasn’t expecting any visitors, but nevertheless he opened the door. On the other side, holding a blossom of a Gloxinia stood Uta. Still bleary-eyed with sleep, Kaneki stood for a while before remembering himself and letting his kind and gently persuasive guest in. With chagrin, he realized that he still hadn’t packed his books into the bookshelves he’d neatly placed, the boxes lying where they were originally placed several months back. He pulled on Uta’s sleeve, guiding him around the books towards the kitchen where he had left his coffee.

     Uta took his place near the fridge, studying Kaneki while he poured two cups of coffee and placed the blossom in a shallow dish of water. Handing his cup to Uta, Kaneki took his place next to him and began sipping at his drink.

     “Any particular reason for this visit?” Kaneki asked, smiling as heard Uta let out a hum after taking a sip of his own drink.

     “It’s too cold to sit outside, yet I wouldn’t miss a conversation with you,” Kaneki blushed.

     “What about your flowers? I would hate to see them wither,”

     “Oh, they won’t for a while, I’ll be bringing them inside in a few days to shelter them from the cold,” Kaneki nodded in agreement and after a pause asked something rather bold, coming from him.

     “Can I come help?” Uta had the right to refuse, there weren’t even many flowers to bring in, help was hardly needed and Kaneki realizing his dreadful mistake was ready to laugh off a meaningless rejection.

     “Of course, I would love the company,” Kaneki’s heart suddenly thudded in his chest at the affirmative, and he smiled into his cup. “As long as you allow me to come by sometimes soon and help you unpack the rest of your books.” The white haired man colored in embarrassment and nodded, unable to speak.

     After coffee had been finished, and the cups washed and dried, loose ends tied, Uta and Kaneki stood at the doorway, waiting for the other to be the first one to say goodbye. In a quick moment, the taller dark-haired man to tilted Kaneki’s chin and pressed a light kiss to unsuspecting lips. He then gave a chuckle to a stunned Kaneki and expected him the next day at noon. Staring at empty space and then bringing his fingertips to touch his lips, Kaneki wondered when his life had become a subdued romantic comedy.

-

     When Kaneki stood outside of Uta’s apartment he wasn’t able to expect anything that would happen once he stepped into those doors. The lack of insight bothered him on some deep level, and it made itself known in the jittering in his stomach, that same jittering could also be the butterflies. When he knocked on the door there were a few slight bumps and then the door opened, revealing Uta with wet hair. Kaneki gave a timid smile as he was led inside. Moving the flowers only took at most 10 minutes, and when the job was completed Kaneki wondered if he was supposed to leave, since what he came here to do was already done. He was saved by Uta offering him coffee and with eagerness Kaneki didn’t know he possessed; he accepted and followed Uta into his kitchen.

     “Can you make the coffee?” The request was voiced when the water had boiled and Uta was ready to pour it on the powdered grains. “There’s something special about how you do it, it’s different, tastes better,” Kaneki laughed and took the pot from Uta’s hands, hands brushing as it was passed. Pouring the coffee, Kaneki felt the sweet smell rise up to his nose and he shut his eyes, enjoying the familiar scent. Passing the readied cup to Uta who thanked him and with a similar blessed expression drank from his cup. After Kaneki had drunk from his own, he relaxed against the counter, leaning his head back and releasing a sigh. Suddenly, he jerked his head back and looked up slightly at Uta.

     “Can we…” His voice failed him, and his heart began to pound.

     “Can we?” Uta asked, looking Kaneki in the eyes and tilting his head.

     “Can we do it again?” Kaneki didn’t need to clarify; he wasn’t blushing anymore, his heart beat at such a pace where blood barely reached his cheeks. Uta didn’t reply and instead pushed himself off of the counter and turning so that he was facing Kaneki. He moved closer, his hands still hanging loosely by his side as if any other movement would cause Kaneki to change his mind. Leaning down he captured Kaneki’s lips and the white haired man closed his eyes. Pulling up his hands that had been clenching the counter, Kaneki brought them up to cup Uta’s face, lightly brushing his fingertips against the smooth skin. Uta took this as a ‘go-ahead’, and moved closer so that their chests were almost touching, and brought his hands to Kaneki’s waist. Kaneki sighed as he felt Uta’s fingers pull gently at the hem of his shirt and slide across the pale skin of his waist. His lips were warm and when they pulled apart for air, he could smell coffee on Uta’s breath. Kaneki slid his arms around Uta’s neck and pulled him back into a kiss, this time sliding his tongue against the raven’s lower lip. Uta let out a soft groan and when Kaneki tasted his tongue, he tasted like coffee, and Kaneki was more than glad to keep kissing him.

-

     The next day, only 3 bookshelves were filled and boxes of books still lay half full. Kaneki and Uta were sprawled on the white couch, exchanging soft kisses and reveling in the peace of being together. Kaneki has never felt this happy. When he peeks out to Uta’s balcony, he blushes as he’s serenaded with white Camellias and Gardenias. He laughs when he notices a bold Peony making itself known in the bushes.

-

     It is months later when Kaneki opens his door to immediately be pushed against a wall, Uta’s tongue hot and heady against his own. He pulls away, slamming the door behind him with a foot. Uta’s breath heavy against Kaneki’s neck and he barely makes out what Uta says.

     “Forgive me for being so bold…” The words are punctuated by lips at Kaneki’s neck. Kaneki pulls him up to a searing kiss to show that, no, he isn’t being bold at all.

     It’s not the first time that they’ve had sex, it’s certainly not the last, but it is the first that Uta falls asleep at Kaneki’s and it’s the first where they wake up together with sheets tangled between their legs and arms curled around each other. They drink coffee with blinding smiles that morning when Uta asks, and Kaneki moves in with Uta several weeks later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaa lets burn in hell together
> 
> * : i added some flower meanings, but i wasn't sure if ppl will get it if they searched for the flowers themselves and got the meaning i was trying to express so i added a list of the flowers and the meanings i attempted to show, this does not mean that these r the only meanings the flowers have, (dear god no, i just used the ones that fit lol)
> 
> Heather (lavender): solitude  
> Amaryllis: Pride  
> Forsythia: anticipation  
> Azalea: Take care of yourself for me; Fragile Passion  
> Gloxinia: Love at first sight  
> Zinnia (yellow): Daily remembrance  
> Camellia (white): You’re adorable  
> Gardenia: secret love; you’re lovely  
> Peony: Gay life
> 
> thanks for reading!!!

**Author's Note:**

> i rushed practically everything and then some oops
> 
> i can also name seven billion places where i didnt keep up with the tenses but who cares anymore my bbys r ded


End file.
